You are not an imposter, the world is

What if feeing imposter syndrome is a signal?

Maybe it’s our higher self gently reminding us that the matrix we’re living in is an illusion.

When our reality isn’t honest, why do we believe that WE are the frauds?

Next time you get fraudy feelings, remind yourself that you are an infinite creation.

Light can only exist alongside darkness

I’m grateful for ALL the bits.

False light and spiritual bypassing encourage you to only look at the “good stuff”, “count your blessings”, and “stay positive”.

“Love and light” ONLY.

But that’s not how we learn and grow.

That’s not how we tend to our wounds.

That’s not how we break the victim/perpetrator cycle.

That’s not how we heal ancestral trauma.

Being in love and light means being willing to courageously acknowledge and venture into the dark parts of ourselves and the world.

Without fighting.

With compassion, grace, and vulnerability.

By keeping our hearts open even when they are broken.

By fiercely and gently becoming the space for change in ourselves and the world.

Being love and light means shining in the darkness.

After all — how else would you know you’re shining?

Stop taking your breath for granted

“Pneuma” is Ancient Greek for “breath”, also interpreted as "spirit" or "soul".

As my lungs slowly heal from pneumonia, I am listening to a new audiobook: Mary Magdalene Revealed, by @megganwatterson

Immediately, I am struck by her experience of prayer simply being taking a breath.

We take our breath for granted.

We rarely notice it or focus our attention on it, and yet, it is so critical to our survival and wellbeing.

Breath is the vehicle for prana life force energy like bread is the vehicle for really good butter.

When we inhale, our breath carries this life force throughout our bodies.

When we exhale, we can release and let go of what is no longer serving us.

Breath is one of the only things that happens automatically and intentionally.

Let’s make every breath a grateful prayer for getting to live this tumultuous, challenging, beautiful, terrifying, awesome, extraordinary experience.

5 heart lessons PLUS a super-specific gratitude practice

1. Stay open, even when things get scary, when things hurt, or when your heart is breaking.

2. Reconnecting with your tenderness and innocence creates space to have compassion for yourself & others.

3. Balance taking care of yourself with serving others. Self-care is a selfless act and you cannot pour into others when your own well is dry.

4. You are your own source of love. Stop seeking the “kind of love you need” from others. It’s time that you realize every tiny ounce of love that you can feel and receive is generated from WITHIN you.

5. Grief is simply love that has nowhere to go. When you’re feeling loss, grief or sadness, take a moment for real gratitude.

I don’t mean rattling off a list of things you think you should be grateful for.

I mean pausing, finding stillness, and feeling a powerful sense of love and a humble sense of awe and wonder, as you visualize or see something very specific* that you are grateful exists or that it happened.

Let it wash over you and warm you from within.

*Example of specific gratitude that summons a feeling and energetic charge:

Instead of “I am grateful for my dogs”, summon something more specific and emotionally resonant that creates a visual (if you are not currently seeing it in front of you)…

“I am grateful for the joyful feeling that washes over me when I remember bending over my dog Zoey in the kitchen for a squeeze. The sun was shining on my pinkish hair, her white fur looked so bright, almost translucent against my blue shirt. I remember the little sigh she made and how soft her velvet muzzle was.”

Now that is a memory that reconnects me fully to a past-present moment.

It makes my heart feel full and brings tears to my eyes that this moment existed and that I had the chance to experience it.

Past life remembrance: the ultimate disconnection, numbing and distraction

Tonight I had an extraordinary experience during my kundalini session with @j_.eye._

It was filled with visions, visceral embodied remembrances, past life memories and soul initiations.

I was feeling energy like a swarm of bees surrounding me.

Fear, exhaustion, darkness.

My intention for the kundalini session was to move through this energy, breaking it up and metaphorically punching it in the face.

For almost an entire month, I have been dealing with sickness.

First COVID, the pneumonia, and still…shortness of breath and some coughing.

This sense of fear, and a feeling of being trapped and disconnected has been building for 25 days.

Halfway through the session, I received visions.

Tall columns, a pool of still water, a white lotus flower throne, a version of me (that I understand to be my higher self) with long wavy hair and white robes, my hand holding a spherical crystal that resembled Earth (which I own), and a square portal that opened in the heavens which transmitted the message: YOUR BODY IS THE PORTAL.

This is a message that I have received upon three occasions now.

Once during an ayahuasca ceremony in 2019, then during a holotropic breath work session in 2020 the week before lockdown, and again now in 2021.

During savasana at the close of the session, my forearms/hands and calves/feet began to feel very heavy.

It felt like I was being “worked on”.

I chuckled to myself and thought, “Work on my lungs! They need it!”

But my understanding of the experience immediately changed: I wasn’t being worked on, I was being held down.

The emotions coursing through my body were disbelief, sadness, confusion and betrayal. It felt like someone that I was familiar with.

The familiar being covered my crown and third eye centers with a thick, gritty, claylike substance, disconnecting my channel of wisdom, intuition and power.

The familiar being was dimming my abilities, effectively putting me to “sleep”.

I wondered: is this happening NOW? Is this happening to someone else? Or is this happening to me in a past life?

Since I was receiving the download in the present, I ruled that out. The depth of sadness and bodily sensations made me realize it had happened to me in a past life.

My whole body began to shake as I wept.

My body remembered before my mind. All month I have felt disconnected and held down.

5 senses mindfulness activity

Little pleasures.

Like being able to SMELL flowers.

Our senses help us process so much information, and we tend to take them for granted.

Take a few minutes from your day and practice this mindfulness activity:

Notice 5 things you can see.
Notice 4 things you can feel.
Notice 3 things you can hear.
Notice 2 things you can smell.
Notice 1 thing you can taste.

Moving through 2021

How are you feeling?

I have been moving through.
A LOT.

As another powerful full moon approaches, I am reflecting on the full spectrum of what I’ve experienced this year.

2021 has presented several opportunities for me to surrender, trust, process and move through my shadows, my feelings and my patterns.

Unconscious traumas surfaced.

Dramatic changes occurred in our business.

Multiple coaching programs and courses presented perpetual opportunities for personal development.

Developing a kundalini / breath work / movement practice helped me get grounded and remain aligned.

Losing our beloved best friend, Zoey, shook my world and cracked me open on another level. Experiencing this grief helped me to love myself on a fundamental level.

Brisco having multiple health issues added stress and uncertainty.

Many friends and colleagues going through major life changes helped me keep things in perspective.

Intentionally choosing and strengthening my nearly 20 year relationship with my husband offered a huge growth edge and helped me realize that everything I need I can generate for myself, leaving me free to be and free to simply love my partner without expectation or judgement.

Intense self-care and deep rest — shedding my martyrdom — helped me cultivate self-worth.

Expressing myself visibly in the world became easier as I realized that I naturally shine — I don’t need to wait until I feel safe to do so!

Making deeper, soul-nourishing connections with women pushed me to take up more space and recognize my value and magic.

Integrating my ayahuasca ceremonies has brought me an embodied sense of purpose and perspective on my role in this existence.

Full embodiment of my gifts and presence was earned through practice, healing, clearing and really GOING THERE at every turn.

Joyful celebration was had on many occasions.

Stepping into my role as a healer and working with other women to transform their patterns has helped me realized that I am here to help others let go of and transform their pain into their power. To turn their wounding patterns into possibilities.

What are you moving through this year???

Let your suffering move you

I am committed to sharing the dark, the messy, the turbulent, the pain.

I am also committed to doing the work to alchemize my shadows, refracting and remembering until they emerge in the world as love and light.

To cleanse and clear and purify.

To distill and make ready for what’s coming.

We are building a billion tiny bridges to the future with our energy, our patterns, our DNA and our consciousness.

Let your emotions do their work.

Let your pain and grief unravel you and strip you bare.

Let your suffering MOVE you.

It’s time to rise

For the past three weeks I’ve been insulated and internal and closed off.

I’ve been dealing with Covid and the pneumonia and I’m still not 100%.

I still can’t fully breathe.

And at the same time I’m seeing the world just go further and further and further into the dark and it’s fucking time for us to rise.

It’s time for us to bring light into the dark places.

It’s time for us emerge and shine.

Stop pretending you’re confused.

Drop all of the veils.

Don’t fall prey to the distractions.

Heart warriors, I am talking to you.

It’s time for us to rise.

What little lies are you telling yourself?

Somewhere along the line, I started telling myself a lie that I couldn’t wear purple eyeshadow because it made me look like I had dark circles under my eyes.

For years, I avoided it, despite purple being one of my favorite colors.

And why? Because of a silly little lie I generated during a moment of self-criticism and low self-esteem.

At 37, I know better. My inner wisdom calls bullshit. My higher self says, “wear whatever the fuck brings you joy and makes you feel good.”

Recently, on a trip to Sephora with the incomparable @hanlie224 I bought ALL the purple makeup, and I have been rocking it ever since.

What little pleasures have you been denying yourself?

It’s time to break free, to feel grounded and at home within yourself.

It’s time that you belong to you FIRST.

It’s time for you to recognize that everything you want and need in life is generated from inside of you — love, joy, compassion, gratitude, prosperity, peace.

Shout out to the purple sparkly eye makeup high school Breean.

Extraction is a distraction

Capitalism requires that we EXTRACT money, energy and value from everything, including ourselves.

We have been so conditioned that this self-extraction feels natural.

It goes unquestioned.

What happens if we don’t have to extract?

What is possible when we don’t have to prove ourselves?

What energy is freed up for creation when we don’t have to monetize everything?

Where in your life are you forcing, proving, monetizing, counting, taking from, feeding off, making persistent withdrawals, or extracting?

What would be a radical act instead?

Rest?

A luxurious bath?

Loving even when you’re scared?

Giving without getting anything in return?

Being present in every moment?

Enjoying the unique expression of others (or yourself!) without judgement?

NOW is a special occasion

I used to keep all of my special, most beautiful things tucked away for some “special occasion” that inevitably never came.

But here’s the truth: SOMEDAY never arrives.

All we have is NOW.

And, I don’t know about you, but I want my now to be fucking fabulous.

🦄🦄🦄

This the reminder you didn’t know you needed.

You don’t need a “special occasion” to rock that glitzy necklace, spend a luxurious amount of time doing your makeup, use that expensive perfume, or wear the most gorgeous dress you’ve got.

Wear it NOW.
Express yourself NOW.
Be the most fun, sparkly extravagant version of yourself NOW.

Shine your light NOW.

Here’s to making every moment a special one for yourself. ⭐️

Rock your strange magic, ladies.

Clear, strengthen and prepare

Clear. Strengthen. Prepare.

I am a pillar of pure white light and so are you.

As bringers of the light, we are being called to prepare by cleansing and clearing ourselves of all of the *shit* flying around us.

Clearing our bodies, our minds and our spirits.

Strengthening and protecting our energy so we can hold and wield more than we ever imagined possible.

Letting our attachments to the things that hold us back, keep us small and dim our light.

Annihilation of the *self* in service to something much greater.

Practicing with courage, patience, integrity, grace and humility is required to generate the inner peace and love that we are here to manifest on earth.

It’s time for some strange magic.

Share your magic, freely

I walked straight into a trap today.

A trap of my own making.

One that I’ve walked into countless times before.

As my gifts emerge, I keep trying to turn them into a business.

I keep asking, “How can I *use* my gifts to get what I want in life?”

I keep forgetting what I am here to do and who I came here to be.

I am not here to create some kind of “nice”, “successful” life for myself.

I am here to squeeze every last drop of human experience out of this life.

To transmute my pain and longing and grief and shadows into light and joy and peace and freedom.

To poke holes in the illusion that holds all of us back from our truth until that veil disintegrates and we can all see.

To keep my heart open throughout all of this, so that I can hold and nurture myself.

To hold you safely in your own journey to alchemize your shadows into light.

I’m here to help you release your pain, recognize your patterns and reveal your true, fully-expressed self.

So.
No more turning my gift into a business.
No more offers or funnels or social media strategies.
No more studying, consuming, training and certifications.
No more of the shit that gets in the way of me doing what I am here to do.

I am going to show up and serve, and you can hold me to it.

It’s time to share my strange kind of magic freely with the world.

❤️ Much love, Bree

Shift your perspective

I am constantly playing with my perspective.

Circumstances and situations and external factors don’t need to change before I can feel full of love, joy, gratitude and fulfillment.

The only thing I can change, and the thing that has the power to help me reshape my reality and the world is my perspective.

Sitting in how I felt today — uninspired, unmotivated, annoyed, frustrated, anxious — my perspective was so narrow, closed and limited.

I needed a shift.

And then I received a helpful reframe from @wolf_daughter_

Sometimes, when we feel like we “should” or “need” to do something it’s a signal to chill for a beat.

There is no need to fix or force our way through, even when we feel like a shift would be helpful.

So, instead of pushing forward and efforting my way through, I shut my laptop, took a long, hot dog walk and ended up in my favorite summer spot.

I set myself up on a picnic blanket under our big maple tree for a bit of kundalini and breath work, surrounded by my sweet doggies.

I played some music, moved through, cried, laughed, shook, and got interrupted by dogs several times for kisses.

And it was the sweetest shift in perspective I’ve had in a long time.

We are never alone

I was having a dark day.

It was nearly 2 years ago, and only a few months after having a transcendent ayahuasca experience that showed me how EVERYTHING is connected.

Yet, I was feeling isolated, alone and disconnected.

I walked out into my back property and I was instantly overwhelmed with a swarm of dragonflies.

Thousands of tiny drones zigging and zagging across the sky.

And I was reminded that I am not alone.

Truth: in September of that year, swarms of dragonflies swept across the Midwest in such large numbers that they were picked up by weather radar systems!

Truth: dragonflies symbolize transformation, change, adaptability and self-realization.

Truth: they only spend a few weeks of their lives as the beautiful, gossamer-winged creatures that we know them as. The balance of their lives is spent in stages of transformation.

Truth: dragonflies can fly in all directions, even backwards, which makes them a beautiful example of the personal growth process.

To this day, when I spot a dragonfly it reminds me that I am in a state of transformation and that I am not alone.

We are never alone.

Even during our transformation, when we feel as if no one else has ever felt the way we feel.

Dance with life

Cherish every tiny blissful moment of your existence.

Be grateful for the beauty and the grief and the joy and the pain.

Receive the love that is forever surrounding you.

Be the embodiment of what you desire the most.

Do you desire love?
Be love in action.

Do you yearn for truth?
Be honest and authentic.

Looking for abundance?
Be generous and give without the expectation of receiving.

Dogs are the greatest of teachers for the simplest of lessons that we, as humans, overcomplicate.

Give. Love. Chill. Play.
Dance with life.

Safety is an illusion

It’s not safe to shine.

☝️☝️ One of my deepest core wounds revealed itself this year.

With some contemplation, and a ton of support from my healing tribe, I realized that waiting for a feeling of “safety” before allowing myself to fully shine was a farce.

You see, energetically, the concept of safety is a deeper level of something we humans also constantly seek: certainty.

We are so caught up in being right, having full clarity and feeling safe as a precursor for taking action and making our deepest desires happen.

Friends, safety is an illusion.

And being brave (like I know you are!) means acting in the face of fear and uncertainty.

So, quit waiting for the conditions to be perfectly right and safe before you create the life you desire.

Lay down the need for yourself to be perfect before you take action and share yourself with the world.

Release any thoughts that sound like, “When things are like ___, then I will be able to ___.”

It’s time to create the conditions you’re desperately seeking by embodying them in the world.

It’s time to Be Brave.

Are you a victim in your healing process?

Victim Energy comes out when our ego and our shadows try to keep us where we are in life.

But when you’re constantly working on yourself and you’re trying to bring your shadows into the light you’re going to have to realize that your ego and your shadows are going to keep trying to make sure that you’re disconnected from yourself and your feelings and your emotions and from other people who can support you.

It will tell you lies like “no one else can understand what you’re going through” or “you’re in this alone” or “no one is strong enough to hold you in this space” or “what will other people think of you if you share what you’re going through?”

So, not only do you keep yourself isolated, but you start to blame other people for not being there for you.

But the problem is you’re the one creating that situation!

Where are you playing a victim in your own healing process?

Transforming at the speed of light

I did a full 180. Crazy. Thinkin’ ‘bout the way I was.

Last November, I experienced a bit of a personal crisis.

Until that point I had only been working on things that I was consciously aware of that I wanted to work on.

In 2020 my life turned upside down in so many ways because so many things that were unconscious to me that I didn’t know where issues started to pop up and just smack me out of left field and I had no ability to grapple with them in the moment.

I became a victim in my own healing process.

No one could understand me.

I was alone.

I was blaming others for reacting to my reactions!

Fast forward to this year June around the solar eclipse.

I paused to reflect on what I was going through last fall and I didn’t even recognize myself in my journal entries.

I have done so much healing in the last six months I don’t even recognize myself from earlier this the same month!

The process of transformation is speeding up to the point where from second to second I’m a different person.

Time is speeding up.
It’s collapsing.
It’s making way for my becoming and yours.

How have you made a 180 lately??