Past life remembrance: the ultimate disconnection, numbing and distraction

Tonight I had an extraordinary experience during my kundalini session with @j_.eye._

It was filled with visions, visceral embodied remembrances, past life memories and soul initiations.

I was feeling energy like a swarm of bees surrounding me.

Fear, exhaustion, darkness.

My intention for the kundalini session was to move through this energy, breaking it up and metaphorically punching it in the face.

For almost an entire month, I have been dealing with sickness.

First COVID, the pneumonia, and still…shortness of breath and some coughing.

This sense of fear, and a feeling of being trapped and disconnected has been building for 25 days.

Halfway through the session, I received visions.

Tall columns, a pool of still water, a white lotus flower throne, a version of me (that I understand to be my higher self) with long wavy hair and white robes, my hand holding a spherical crystal that resembled Earth (which I own), and a square portal that opened in the heavens which transmitted the message: YOUR BODY IS THE PORTAL.

This is a message that I have received upon three occasions now.

Once during an ayahuasca ceremony in 2019, then during a holotropic breath work session in 2020 the week before lockdown, and again now in 2021.

During savasana at the close of the session, my forearms/hands and calves/feet began to feel very heavy.

It felt like I was being “worked on”.

I chuckled to myself and thought, “Work on my lungs! They need it!”

But my understanding of the experience immediately changed: I wasn’t being worked on, I was being held down.

The emotions coursing through my body were disbelief, sadness, confusion and betrayal. It felt like someone that I was familiar with.

The familiar being covered my crown and third eye centers with a thick, gritty, claylike substance, disconnecting my channel of wisdom, intuition and power.

The familiar being was dimming my abilities, effectively putting me to “sleep”.

I wondered: is this happening NOW? Is this happening to someone else? Or is this happening to me in a past life?

Since I was receiving the download in the present, I ruled that out. The depth of sadness and bodily sensations made me realize it had happened to me in a past life.

My whole body began to shake as I wept.

My body remembered before my mind. All month I have felt disconnected and held down.