The Goal is to Be Human, Not Perfect: My Interview with Kristen Hadeed

This article is part of the Authentic Leader Interview Series created by Breean Elyse Miller.

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My first encounter with Kristen Hadeed was watching her speak at the Fusion 2.0 conference.

She instantly connected with the audience while talking about how she started her company, Student Maid, during college -- a story that is immortalized in her first book, Permission to Screw Up: How I learned to lead by doing (almost) everything wrong.

Since seeing her speak in 2018, I have followed Kristen on LinkedIn and Instagram, where she continues to share challenges and learnings along her journey of personal growth and vulnerability, the process of creating a human-centered company, and showing up as an authentic leader.

So, I'm thrilled to be kicking off my Authentic Leader Interview Series with Kristen Hadeed, a leader that truly embodies growth and humanity in all that she does.

Without further ado, here is my interview with Kristen Hadeed.

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Breean: The first line of your bio states: “Kristen imagines a world in which all organizations have cultures that empower people to climb toward the best version of themselves every day.”

The word “climb” strikes me as an interesting language choice. Why do you see personal development as a climb?

Kristen: I believe you never really arrive in leadership. You have to work hard to be better today than you were yesterday, which means pulling yourself up toward the next best version of you.

Personal growth is an evolution, not a box you check off. I also believe that we shouldn’t feel pressure to be perfect along that journey, so using "climb" means sometimes we will have better days than others. If you fall while you’re climbing, keep hanging on, and pull yourself back up the next day.

Breean: Your LinkedIn banner says “The goal is to be human, not perfect.”

Can you expand on what you believe it means to be human?

Kristen: To me, being human is about showing up as your whole self. It’s choosing to share what’s really going on instead of putting up a front. It’s about admitting your weaknesses and asking for help instead of pretending to have all the answers. Basically, it’s about being your authentic self and not who you think people want you to be.

Breean: In the past few years, I’ve come to learn that vulnerability is where it’s at. It’s not a sign of weakness; it’s a superpower. Vulnerability is something that you write and speak about quite frequently.

How do you exercise and strengthen your vulnerability muscle?

Kristen: Practicing vulnerability and being vulnerable can look like so many things: Sharing more about the life experiences that made you who you are and giving context to how you behave. Asking for help. Admitting you don't have the answer. Giving feedback that’s hard to share. Sharing an idea.  

Being vulnerable is so important because it builds trust. We don't trust the person who never lets us in, always has the answers, or doesn't need help, but we do trust the person who peels back the layers and shows us how things really are.

Breean: I’d like to call you out for something: the courage to get on stage and speak while wearing clothes that make you feel like you. Jeans. T-shirts. Sneakers. This is amazing.

Tell us about the moment when you realized it was more important to be yourself than to fit in.

Kristen: A friend of mine once said, "Wear what gives you wings." In order to be the best you, you have to feel like you. I get that we can't always wear jeans and sneakers, but we can look for ways to be more authentic and feel more like ourselves, no matter where we are.

If you feel pressure to be someone else or to look a certain way, ask yourself: Is it you putting that pressure on yourself? In my case, I realized that no one had ever asked me to wear business suits on stage when I speak. I wore suits because I was insecure. I thought that if I didn’t "dress the part," people wouldn’t respect me.

But I realized it was self-imposed pressure all along: The only person preventing me from being me was me.

Breean: Which business leaders are your “expanders” or role models? Why do they inspire you?

Kristen: Sara Blakely, founder of Spanx. She has “oops moments” meetings with her team, which is totally in line with my belief in creating a more human environment at work. And Simon Sinek, who believes in a world where people feel inspired, safe, and fulfilled at work. I feel so lucky that I have the chance to work with him to further that cause.

Breean: What is one small shift or tiny act of rebellion that anyone can do to be more human?

Kristen: When you make a mistake, instead of hiding it or not talking about it, say it out loud. Figure out what you learned from that experience.

Don't let your ego get in the way; just own it and use what it teaches you.

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Kristen Hadeed is the founder of Student Maid, a successful cleaning company that has employed thousands of students over the last decade and that is known for building the next generation of leaders.

Where to find Kristen: Website | LinkedIn | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter