Rule #1: Be Yourself - My Interview with Adam Schorr
I met Adam Schorr in 2017 at the Love Summit, a conference focused on bringing awareness to the importance of love in business and society.
Adam led a session focused on helping your company design rituals rooted in values and I instantly saw the connection between his approach and the culture design projects I was doing at Habits at Work.
I asked him if we could connect for a "mind-melding" discussion so we could learn from one another and he told me that what I was proposing would best be done over a couple of beers.
Fast forward a few years later and we still haven't had those beers, but we finally got to connect through this interview!
Adam has one of those bios that makes you wonder, "What have I been doing for the past 10 years?!" 🤷♀️
After 16+ years working with companies like IBM, Hyatt, Pfizer, and J&J, Adam started his own consultancy dedicated to helping companies be the best version possible of themselves by living their unique purpose and values in their culture and in the market: Rule No. 1.
He holds a PhD in Psychology from the University of Chicago, is an avid craft beer lover, homebrewer, father of 3, and enjoys some quiet reading time when he can get it.
Oh, and he's really fantastic at answering interview questions! 🤣
Seriously, this interview is candid, honest, and full of wry humor.
In this interview, we explore:
Why the best businesses are the ones with PERSONALITY 👏🏾
How authenticity empowers diverse perspectives
Why holding onto "perfection" holds us back from being our best selves 🔥
That we need to PAY ATTENTION to our successes and failures
Why the world needs "more talent, more creativity, more ingenuity, more willingness to try different approaches" 🌍
Without further ado, here's my interview with Adam Schorr.
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Breean: You started Rule No. 1 to help companies be the best possible version of themselves. In fact, Rule No. 1 is “be yourself”. When did you realize that authenticity was the key to success for businesses?
Adam: Well, I don’t know that it’s “the key” to business success. There are lots of keys including having an actual idea, knowing what you’re doing, having access to capital, etc.
But I do think authenticity is the key to differentiation.
And I realized this on April 3rd, 2016 at 4:32pm. Totally kidding! I don’t really think there was a lightning bolt moment for me. Just a long series of experiences that made me realize how harmful it is to all of us to believe that we can’t be ourselves at work (same goes for outside of work by the by).
I saw this in my brand marketing work. So many meetings, so much time spent on benchmarking—which is basically business jargon for “let me see what others are doing so I can copy them, change it in an insignificant way, and not feel like an idiot if it fails”. That is a great way to hit singles or doubles but a terrible way to hit home runs. (Btw, I use sports metaphors a lot even though I hate sports. Go figure!)
I’ve seen this in my previous jobs working at other organizations. Some had a very distinctive clear sense of who they were and were unabashed about living it. Others felt very “corporate” and approached everything from a risk-mitigation perspective. It feels like shit to work in a starched corporate environment. It’s phony. I know of nearly nobody who actually likes working at places like that.
The businesses I like to support as a customer are the ones with personality. And that’s not “brand personality” by the way. It’s actual human personality.
I want to buy from businesses where I can see evidence that actual humans with actual values, aspirations, dreams, quirks, hopes, and fears work. And I believe that most of us would prefer to buy from businesses like that. Big corporations became successful because they made good products and were able to mass-produce, mass-distribute, and mass-market. I can see why that was an important step in the evolution of business. But I think we let the sameness of it go too far. It’s boring and not that creative.
Authenticity is a key to unlocking this because by everyone being themselves, we bring a greater diversity of ideas and ways of thinking to the table (is there actually a table?). Many of those ideas will suck, but some will be amazing—and many would never have been expressed because the person who had the idea was worried about being rejected.
Breean: I’m going to quote you: “The world doesn’t need you to be a passingly decent copy of something else. The world needs you to be the fullest, most brilliant version of yourself that you possibly can be.” Who is your “fullest, most brilliant” self?
Adam: I’m not sure how I would have answered this question a few months ago. But it’s now been more than six weeks since I’ve been in Coronavirus lockdown. And to be perfectly honest, I’m not sure I’ve seen my fullest, most brilliant self in a while. I’m definitely struggling to be my best.
That said, I think my fullest, most brilliant self has a deep love for the human soul and what it’s capable of, lots of optimism that our collective ingenuity can make the world a much better place, and a sometimes-unhealthy lack of respect for the status quo. I have a knack at seeing the unique spark that someone can bring to the world and helping people see it for themselves and envision what it might look like to live it more fully.
When I’m at my best, I’m bravely sharing my ideas while being kind and thoughtful to everyone around me. As I write these words, I am realizing how often I fall short of being my best self. Especially lately. That’s a sobering reality to have to face, which makes me appreciate these questions you’ve asked me so much more.
Having to sit and write down what you are at your best is really eye-opening. It’s making me want to recommit to trying harder—especially in these crazy fucked up times when the world needs kindness and compassion even more than we have in a long time.
Breean: Building off of my previous question, can you tell us about your journey to unearth your fullest, most brilliant self?
Adam: Well, I can tell you that it’s an ongoing journey. If by some chance you’ve seen my fullest, most brilliant self lying around somewhere, can you let me know? It would save me a lot of time and energy searching.
Like many others, my journey has involved a lot of failure. I failed at my first marriage. I failed at a few jobs. But I pay attention. Not always in the moment; sometimes I can only reflect in hindsight. But I do pay attention.
I begin with the assumption that I am not perfect. That might seem like an obvious statement to many people but I actually think it’s an important one. I think too many people are holding onto the idea that they are perfect and that others think so too. They’re freaked out about slipping up, doing something wrong or weird in front of others, because that would ruin this perfect image they have.
But here’s the thing: nobody is perfect and nobody ever will be. And one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is to simply accept this. As soon as you do, you remove so much of the pressure you feel to always be right, to look right, to sound right.
I know I’m not perfect. I know it really really well! So I spend time really thinking about how I can be better while also letting myself show who I really am. It’s not always comfortable. That desire to be seen as perfect constantly tries to reassert itself. But I fight back.
I examine my failures. I spend a lot of time thinking about them and why they happened. I try to take feedback from others very seriously—the feedback people explicitly give me but also all of the implicit feedback I get. As a younger person, I used to act on all feedback. As I’ve gotten older and developed a better sense and level of comfort with who I am, I realize that sometimes people give me feedback because they’re trying to help me be a better me but sometimes they’re really just trying to make themselves happier by turning me into something that would better suit them but which is not who I am. So I’ve gotten better at filtering feedback, recognizing its source, and understanding that I have to be true to myself even if sometimes that makes other people unhappy. Of course, I don’t want anyone to be unhappy, but you can’t please everyone all the time and you can easily lose yourself if you try too hard.
In all of this, I pay attention to my successes and failures. I listen to myself and to others. I take note of where I find joy, where I am able to bring joy to others, what I’m good at, what I suck at, what I think the world needs, and I try to find something in there that feels true to who I am.
Wow. That was a complicated answer. I really hope nobody was looking for one of those “how to be fully yourself in 3 easy steps” kind of things.
Breean: What advice can you give to other leaders who are working toward showing up as their whole selves in their work?
Adam: To be authentic you have to know yourself. That doesn’t mean you have to be a zen master. But it does require more than a passing familiarity with your own soul.
So start by letting go—temporarily—of everything external that would influence you. Let go of the desire to please and impress others. Let go of the fears you have about not being good enough for others. Let go of what you think you’re supposed to be. Let go of your role models. Spend some time reflecting on your past, where you’ve shined and what has brought you joy, meaning, or fulfillment.
Once you’ve formed some hypotheses about what you’re all about, share them with your closest loved ones and see what they think—not to ask them for permission but to see if how you see yourself resonates with how others see you. Then share it with the people you work with closely.
As you commit to showing up more authentically, pay attention to how it is received. Again, this isn’t about asking for permission to be who you are; it’s about being appropriate for your context. A bit more about that…
Many people think that authenticity or being your whole self means expressing every thought and acting on every urge whenever and wherever they have it. That’s not authentic; it’s crazy and sociopathic.
Showing up with authenticity does not mean inflicting your whole self on someone who isn’t interested or in a time or place that’s not appropriate. You don’t live in a bubble. You still have to be a good person. Authenticity means having a core, an essence, a set of beliefs and values, and then living them in a way that’s appropriate to your context.
This is tricky. Because if you edit too much, you will feel stifled. And if you don’t edit enough, other people will be deeply uncomfortable around you. Getting that balance right is the art of all this. I suppose I would say that if you find yourself needing to edit too much then maybe you’re in the wrong organization and you need to find a team or a place that’s a better fit for that beautiful whole self you’ve just discovered.
Breean: You tell companies to “start from a place of love” because no great brands begin with money-making at their core. I think you could say the same of most people -- sometimes we operate from a place of doing things because they make us money instead of doing things that are aligned with our values or our greatness.
As a leader, and a mentor to other leaders, how do you walk your talk and stay true to your purpose?
Adam: There’s something about my personality that makes this a bit easier for me than I gather it is for some other people. I don’t want to minimize this. Maybe I was born with less of a filter. I definitely know many people that have a tough time putting themselves out there.
For me, in addition to the part that comes naturally to me, I have a few tricks that help me. For example, I called my company “Rule No. 1”—which is “be yourself”. Having called the company that, I sometimes have people call me out when I’m not being true to myself. I’ve had people on my team tell me that I’m not living rule number one in a moment. Declaring that company name gives people permission and a bit of language they can use in helping me stay on track. And even when others aren’t doing that for me, I often think about the company name and it energizes me to want to live that idea.
I have a leather notebook cover with a quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson on the inside that says “Always do what you are afraid to do.” I look at that periodically and it serves as a small reminder.
I definitely recommend finding ways to enlist others to help you stay on track. In the same way many people do when they’re trying to lose weight. It is not easy. We are very good at rationalizing behaviors and telling ourselves we’re doing great. Other people can help us be honest with ourselves.
Breean: Which business leaders are your “expanders” or role models? Why do they inspire you?
Adam: I’m a huge fan of Sam Calagione—founder of Dogfish Head. Dogfish Head has been one of the leaders in the independent craft brewing movement and community. For nearly 25 years, they’ve been known as a brewery willing to ignore norms—not for the sake of being a “challenger” but out of a love and respect for the human spirit of creativity and ingenuity.
What inspires me about Sam is his willingness to follow his creative spirit. To me, Sam is the ultimate non-conformist. Many people have a fundamental misconception about non-conformity; they think being a non-conformist is about being different. It isn’t. You can be a non-conformist and be exactly like everyone else. Being different in an effort to be different is the ultimate act of conformity! Non-conformity is about not following others for the sake of following others. It’s about having the bravery to go where your own mind, heart, soul want to take you without regard to how that will be perceived, accepted, or rejected by the world.
The world needs many many more non-conformists. It needs us all to be non-conformist. But too many business “leaders” act out of fear or, simply, a desire to be loved. That’s a very human trait. And totally understandable. But when people act this way, they end up all converging in the middle.
I have nothing against the middle, but if we’re all there then most of us are wasting our talents. And as I write this in the midst of the Coronavirus pandemic, I’m thinking that more talent, more creativity, more ingenuity, more willingness to try different approaches is exactly what the world needs. We cannot afford to lose one drop of precious human potential because someone decided to hold back out of a fear that they would be rejected for being different.
Breean: What is one small shift or tiny act of rebellion that anyone can do to be more authentic?
Adam: Well, I wouldn’t recommend rebellion. Or, at least, not in an effort to be more authentic. The reason I say that, is that rebellion is still an act defined, framed, and motivated by someone else. When you rebel, you are ceding agency and control to someone or something else and letting them dictate the rules of the game—or even which game is being played.
I think it’s important to call this out: authenticity, without profound introspection and self-knowledge, is an empty buzzword. I would hate to see authenticity become another fad without substance.
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Adam Schorr knows how to help people tap into who they really are so they can have more fulfilling careers and lives, build more distinctive brands, and lead more engaging workplaces.
