Reflecting on 2017

Disclaimer: This is lengthy...and I refuse to apologize. Here’s to celebrating the “bright spots,” being grateful and deepening my self-awareness!

Feeling inspired and ready to embark on a busy December, I’m answering Rachel Druckenmiller’s challenge to reflect on 2017.

Over the years, I’ve found that the act of reflection has allowed me to become more self-aware, shift away from default behavior patterns that no longer serve me, learn from my past experiences and prepare for new adventures.

With all that in mind, I’m answering Rachel’s three prompts as my act of reflection during this month of thankfulness:

• What are your top 3 bright spots of 2017?

• What are you most grateful for?

• What routine served you best in 2017?

My top 3 bright spots for 2017

1. Feeling a Deeper Connection to the World through Permaculture 

Last year, my husband and I purchased a home and 3 acres of land 90 minutes south of Chicago in a tiny community called Stelle, surrounded by corn fields and wind turbines. Stelle is a community of about 45 houses, many with sustainable features, such as solar and wind power, water cisterns or wood burning stoves.

Bill and Becky Wilson, who have lived in the community for many years, are permaculture designers. Earlier this year, I had the pleasure of attending one of their workshops to become a certified permaculture designer.

To say it was an immersive experience would be an understatement. For 8 days, our group gathered in the Stelle Community Center from 8am – 9pm to learn, reflect, apply and share.

It was exhilarating and exhausting. 

I was present and gave my full attention. I took in so much I felt like bits of knowledge were literally spilling out of my ears when I went to sleep at night.

And I learned a powerful set of ethics and principles that could be harnessed to design business as a force of good for people, communities and the earth.

Mind blown.

2. Growing My Own Food + Learning to Let Go (a little bit, sometimes)

Building on my newfound permaculture design knowledge, I decided to start a vegetable garden.

This was a HUGE learning experience for me, and not only in the ways you’d imagine (when to plant, pruning, how to get rid of rabbits).

For example, I learned how much I love to do mindless physical labor. It is exhausting and time consuming and yet it leaves you feel refreshed and accomplished and empty (in the best way possible).

I also learned that I know very little about life and that I cannot control everything.

This was – is – an especially tough pill to swallow for a control freak like me.

You see, gardening is a constant war and daily struggle.

About the time you figure out how to win one battle, the battlefield itself moves.

You should water the plants, but not too much. Some plants need full sun; others prefer shade and cooler temperatures. Rabbits can fit through 2 inch holes in your fence, and they will f*** up your lettuce. Sometimes weeds are invasive and sometimes they’re edible! Bugs. Don’t get me started on the bugs. The bugs have bugs and they never stop coming. The soil needs amendments to supply plants with the proper nutrients to flourish. Certain plants aren’t friends with other plants, and some plants are best friends. Bees are good, so are butterflies, but moths not so much.

I started my garden in the spring thinking I had planned everything perfectly. In preparing my garden for the winter, I realized I was naïve to think I could wield control over this living ecosystem.  

This realization allowed me to see my role in the world with a bit more clarity.

My role is not to be in control or force change on plants or people or businesses – it’s to be a steward.

I can help look after things. To make sure they don’t become unmanageable. To right the ship, should it veer off course.

To fight back the invasive weeds and harsh elements that threaten the health and productivity of my land.

And I’m thrilled to help leaders step into the same role as stewards for their company cultures, so their people can be successful, productive and thrive. 

3. Rediscovering My Love for Speaking + Facilitating Workshops  

After a brief pity party, in which it dawned on me that I had forgotten how much I love speaking, teaching and facilitating workshops, I decided it was high time to get back in the saddle.

In 2017:

• Amanda Beemer and I hosted two glorious Gadfly events focused on the topics of “reimagining the company of the future” and “what we (individually) need to be engaged at work.”

• Amanda Beemer and I facilitated a workshop with the Olson Engage team to design the contexts of their organization and create a new type of corporate hero archetype: the mindful leader.

• I had the pleasure of facilitating discussions about “the firm of the future” for the east and west divisions of The Alford Group.

• I joined Andrew Sykes to help the Limeade team hone their sales habits and storytelling skills.

• I submitted many workshop and speaking proposals for 2018 (fingers crossed).

And I am excited for this next year with Habits at Work, which I am pronouncing the “year of the workshop.”

What I am most grateful for in 2017 

This is the easiest of the three prompts for me to answer. 

I am so grateful to be surrounded by people who truly see me.   

Being able to be your whole self, without apology, is something people struggle with every day. 

No matter how much it looks like some people have their shit together on this one, I bet they still struggle with self-expression, feelings of doubt, lack of purpose and meaning, imposter syndrome, and the list goes on.

I am grateful that, even when I struggle with knowing and being myself, the people around me kindly remind me of who I am and that I am enough.

That it matters less what I DO and more that I BE my whole self. That I am not a human doing, but a human being.

I’m looking at you Hanlie van Wyk, Andrew Sykes, Tia Pappas, Amanda Beemer, Margo Zuffante, Chris Underdown, Gloria Gong, Collin Bullen, Debbi Brooks, Kasi Bolin, Nicole Grybalow, and a few others not on LinkedIn: Josh Evans, Lou Anne Pierce, Lynn Coe.  

The routine that best served me in 2017

I haven’t found a routine that best serves me yet.

For me, the idea of a routine is elusive and it is something that I naturally rebel against, using the excuse that having a routine or schedule or bedtime will somehow feel restricting, like I’m in a cage or have lost control.   

Though I haven’t established a consistent, beneficial routine, I have recognized a few not-so-kind habits that make it difficult for me to practice self-compassion, mindfulness and self-care, which I know are crucial to my happiness and success.

I’m considering this “recognition” a small step (or giant leap, depending on how you look at it) toward creating a routine that makes it possible for me to practice the positive habits I’m committed to. I hope to make more progress in this area in 2018.

If you’re feeling like I’ve left out the juicy bits of the story and you’re wondering which not-so-kind habits I identified in 2017, I’ll tell you.

With the hope that it might help you recognize some of your own habits that might not be creating the present or future that you desire for yourself, here goes…

• Lack of solitude (I’m an only child – this is a lifeblood for me and I’ve had very little of it this year)

• Pretending that my unhealthy eating habits aren’t “that bad” and that I’ll do better TOMORROW (also, the unhealthy eating habits themselves)

• Making excuses to not exercise, even though I feel better when I do

• Spending way too much time on Instagram (Way. Too. Much. Time.)

• Procrastinating writing, even though I tell myself I want to do it more often

Are any of those bad habits resonating with you? Do you make excuses that get in the way of the future you want?

I challenge you to reflect on 2017 as I have done.

I love the questions that Rachel asks, but I’d like to add another: Which habits or behaviors did NOT serve you in 2017?